Make play, not war

Let's get one thing straight -- when Mimi swats me on the head, I swat her right back. And when she whacks Farfel, he whacks her right back. Just because she's a girl, she doesn't get special treatment. She can dish it out, and she can take it.

That's the way it is with cats. A smack in the face equals a smack in the face back.

But we only let the fur fly for so long. It's infinitely more enjoyable to play. Or sleep, or eat, or clean behind our ears. Farfel especially likes to clean Mimi's ears, even if she's been beating up on him.

Because as Abraham Lincoln observed, "no matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."

Big 3

I prefer my version of the Big Three....

United we sleep

What's all this fuss about unity? This has never been an issue with my colleagues. Not only do we stand united on most fronts -- the bed, the couch, the linen cupboard -- we sleep united as well.

In fact, we agree on the most important subjects -- canned cat food twice a day, cat candy in the morning, catnip at night, and everyone gets a turn on the heating vent.

And there's enough room in the cat bed for all of us.

Coronations? Those are for cat shows. It's more fun to party together, eat together, and sleep together.

And warmer, too...