Being a kosher cat, Farfel hasn’t been too worried about the swine flu. If you don’t eat swine, what’s the big whoop? Plus he’s well under 65, not pregnant, with no underlying health conditions (the delicate Hebrew kishkes don’t count here).
Then Farfel made the mistake of watching Larry King interview some epidemiologist who warned the apocalypse was coming unless you got your swine flu shot. Farfel changed the channel but got a live feed about swine flu deaths in the eastern highlands of western New Guinea. Then he picked up the paper and read that you had to be a high-paid athlete or on the board of a big hospital to get a swine flu shot.
Farfel started sweating. Dying from the swine flu was bad – but getting a needle?! You have to know that as a professional cat, Farfel despises any kind of needle. Even though he suspected his friendly neighbourhood veterinarian doesn’t have access to the swine flu, let alone the adjuvant. What to do, what to do?
And though he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, it didn’t take Farfel long to figure out how to avoid the whole damn thing. He’s turned off the tv, the radio, isn’t reading the newspaper and is staying away from the water cooler at the office.
Ignorance is bliss. And healthy.
My cousin, Commander, pictured here, would like to know why he was shut out for a Nobel. After all, as the first Foreign Burmese to win Best Cat in Canada 2007-2008, he made history!!
A Supreme Grand Master Champion no less, he brokered peace with the Abyssinian and Japanese Bob-tail that rode up to the top with him.
"After all," Commander was said to have offered magnanimously, "We short-hair breeds have to stick together."
And yet, no Nobel peace prize? Just because he's a cat? Oh, come on.
It's not easy to win best Cat in Canada. Usually it's some fluffy long-hair type, like those lackadaisical Persians or sluggish Maine Coons ... they just flop around and get all kinds of ribbons.
Not cousin Commander... he had to noogie those judges but good ... get the head tilt just right (see photo above) ... strike pose after pose while looking like he didn't give a damn ... and of course, sire a few kittens in what little spare time he had. Now, that may all sound like fun and games, but it's serious work.
And no Nobel? That's just plain wrong. Unless there's a big trophy and a big cheque heading his way, Commander may. just. retire.
p.s. see http://www.osha.igs.net/~kiddbatt/DOCS/pages/catstosell.htm
Hands up everyone who thinks the GG slurping down raw meat had something to do with hunting seals.
That’s what I thought. Man, are you blind?!
Canadians have had image issues for way too long. We’re polite. We’re peacekeepers. Our cops ride horses. Our civil "war" was fought by a bunch of policy wonks over tea. We invented Velcro.
We’re a nation of boring wimps.
No wonder terrorists, draft dodgers and Nazi war criminals hide out here.
No, GG was makin’ a point. The Queen’s own rep is telling the world, she’s in touch with her inner predator. Don’t be messing with us. Not only will we mess right back, we’ll rip your heart out and eat it. RAW.
Way to go, GG.
Being a kosher cat, Farfel hasn’t been too worried about the swine flu. If you don’t eat swine, what’s the big whoop? Plus he’s well under 65, not pregnant, with no underlying health conditions (the delicate Hebrew kishkes don’t count here).
