Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Make history = get a Nobel?


My cousin, Commander, pictured here, would like to know why he was shut out for a Nobel. After all, as the first Foreign Burmese to win Best Cat in Canada 2007-2008, he made history!!

A Supreme Grand Master Champion no less, he brokered peace with the Abyssinian and Japanese Bob-tail that rode up to the top with him.


"After all," Commander was said to have offered magnanimously, "We short-hair breeds have to stick together."

And yet, no Nobel peace prize? Just because he's a cat? Oh, come on.

It's not easy to win best Cat in Canada. Usually it's some fluffy long-hair type, like those lackadaisical Persians or sluggish Maine Coons ... they just flop around and get all kinds of ribbons.

Not cousin Commander... he had to noogie those judges but good ... get the head tilt just right (see photo above) ... strike pose after pose while looking like he didn't give a damn ... and of course, sire a few kittens in what little spare time he had. Now, that may all sound like fun and games, but it's serious work.

And no Nobel? That's just plain wrong. Unless there's a big trophy and a big cheque heading his way, Commander may. just. retire.

p.s. see http://www.osha.igs.net/~kiddbatt/DOCS/pages/catstosell.htm

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'll have mine RAW













Hands up everyone who thinks the GG slurping down raw meat had something to do with hunting seals.

That’s what I thought. Man, are you blind?!
Canadians have had image issues for way too long. We’re polite. We’re peacekeepers. Our cops ride horses. Our civil "war" was fought by a bunch of policy wonks over tea. We invented Velcro.
We’re a nation of boring wimps.
No wonder terrorists, draft dodgers and Nazi war criminals hide out here.
No, GG was makin’ a point. The Queen’s own rep is telling the world, she’s in touch with her inner predator. Don’t be messing with us. Not only will we mess right back, we’ll rip your heart out and eat it. RAW.
Way to go, GG.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Inappropriate litter box elimination: the truth

Why you think I peed on the bed

1. My litter box needs changing
2. Your drunk boyfriend peed in my litter box
3. Cheap 7-11 brand cat food
4. You came home late and I missed you (oh please)
5. Mysterious and expensive urinary tract infection
6. I was dreaming of a waterfall
7. You hate your boss and I sympathize (oh please)
8. Not enough cat toys
9. Too many cat toys
10. You need to change your deodorant

Why I really peed on the bed


1. My litter box needs changing
2. Because … I can.