Sunday, November 15, 2009

Can kosher cats get the swine flu?

Being a kosher cat, Farfel hasn’t been too worried about the swine flu. If you don’t eat swine, what’s the big whoop? Plus he’s well under 65, not pregnant, with no underlying health conditions (the delicate Hebrew kishkes don’t count here).

Then Farfel made the mistake of watching Larry King interview some epidemiologist who warned the apocalypse was coming unless you got your swine flu shot. Farfel changed the channel but got a live feed about swine flu deaths in the eastern highlands of western New Guinea. Then he picked up the paper and read that you had to be a high-paid athlete or on the board of a big hospital to get a swine flu shot.

Farfel started sweating. Dying from the swine flu was bad – but getting a needle?! You have to know that as a professional cat, Farfel despises any kind of needle. Even though he suspected his friendly neighbourhood veterinarian doesn’t have access to the swine flu, let alone the adjuvant. What to do, what to do?

And though he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, it didn’t take Farfel long to figure out how to avoid the whole damn thing. He’s turned off the tv, the radio, isn’t reading the newspaper and is staying away from the water cooler at the office.

Ignorance is bliss. And healthy.

1 comment:

Buck said...

What a handsome cat. And Farfel is an intelligent cat too. He is smart enough to stay away from clinic lines for flu shots where human strangers and their furry footed friends are very likely to contract nasty viruses, being in such close contact for such long periods of time.