This good-looking fellow is another member of my posse. His name is Farfel, and he's a cream shaded silver tipped Burmilla. What? You don't know what a Burmilla is? That's a hybrid of Foreign Burmese cat and Chinchilla Persian cat. And in 2002, Farfel was the best Burmilla in Canada.
In this photo, Farfel is getting ready for Passover by making sure he gets every bit of chametz. What? You don't know what chametz is? That's Hebrew for breadcrumb, and during Passover, your house must be absolutely devoid of any bread. Since Farfel is a good Jewish cat, he's even checking his toes for the stuff.
Mind you, Farfel didn't always know he was Jewish. Born in an Irish cattery, it wasn't until Farfel was four years old that he became aware of his Hebrew roots. He discovered how much he loved gefilte fish, chopped liver, and whitefish. And like me, Farfel's not just a professional cat, but an over-achieving professional cat. With a nasty tendency to develop colitis, a sure giveaway of Hebrew kishkes. Neither of us work during Shabbat; we make a point of sleeping through the day.
Who knew? Apparently, it happens in the best of families...
Behind every great cat, there is another. In my case, there are a couple.
Meet Mimi, a champagne tortie Foreign Burmese.
She is, without a doubt, the smartest cat in the world. And here's why:
Although she is a former champion showcat, Mimi has never really worked a day in her life, and has no visible means of income. Yet ...
1. She has a fur coat. She is very proud of it, wears it all the time, even sleeps in it.
2. She maintains a special diet, available only at selected retail outlets.
3. Although she has had two litters of kittens, and is 11 years old -- that's the human equivalent of about 70 to 75 years old, she is as svelte and smooth as a little mink.
4. She enjoys the company of two handsome younger males, myself and Farfel. Both of us will defer to her in a heartbeat. She's just too smart!
5. Every Friday, she shares a meal of the finest poached salmon available at St. Lawrence Market with She-Who-Feeds-Me.
6. She never has to vacuum, wash dishes, or clean up Farfel's barfies.
7. She gets to sleep about 20 hours a day.
8. Really, her main responsibility is deigning to have her photograph taken.
Somebody once said, that cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. In other words, cats have a knack for getting in the way.
My own personal favourite is getting in the way of this very computer screen. How delicious to block the view with my own cat body! To plunk all 13-1/2 pounds of me strategically between the monitor and the keyboard. In a sitting position, squinting quizzically. What's not to love?!
Timing, of course, is everything. I personally like to sit in the freshly laundered bedsheets while they're still in the laundry basket. This means I get to enjoy them before anyone else! And of course, makes getting them out of the basket and on to the bed that much more difficult. Sweet!
Then there's that whole newspaper thing. What good is a newspaper if you can't dive into it and make those juicy crunchy and ripping sounds? This works best on those sections of the newspaper that haven't been read yet.
I hope you're taking notes ...
